Monday, April 18, 2005


Soufflé von Helsing posited a very interesting series of questions on the "HacKKKers" thread, and, rather than answer it on the thread, I felt it was inportant enough to post as a thread in itself so my readers may discuss and offer their own vignettes upon it. Thank you Mijnheer von Helsing.

1. You say war is never the answer, and we need to open dialogues with those who want to do us grave bodily harm. So does this mean the Muslims should have simply converted to Christianity when the marauding hordes of Catholic do-gooders invaded their land during the Crusades? Or does the fact that they were neoKKKon Chri$tians justify their fighting back with any means necessary?
A. Religion is often itself the cause of war; in the crusades we are faced with a "chicken and the egg" senario. The Middle East was once predominantly Xtian, and was a part of the Byzantine Empire. Unfortunately the mideasterners were a different type of Xtian than the emperor, and suffered severe persecution. When Islam arose in the Arabian Penisula, the Xtian Arabs looked upon the Muslims as liberators not conquerors. Over time, Islam took hold. Bottom line, Islam held the hearts and minds of the people of the ME, and the Vatican should have stayed out of it.
2. Also in the same vein, and in light of the fact that the evil neoKKKons of AmeriKKKa are in bed with the Israeli Zionists in oppressing the innocent Palestinians in their quest for a home of their own, was it wrong for America to fight the Nazis during WW2 and free the Jews from Auschwitz? Doesn't this mean the progressive Europeans at that time were doing the right thing after all?
A. As she did not enter Iraq to promote "democracy", America did not enter the Great Patriotic War (WWII) to free the Jews. She entered because business interests wanted her to. While freeing the Jews was arguably a good thing to do, remember America did'nt even (purportedly) know about Auschwitz until the time of liberation. Germany under the Nazis had many progressive ideals, and would have gone down in history as a beacon of progressivism had her leadership not attempted to exterminate the Jews and had they not gone on their military adventures. Remember Germany and the USSR were once allies, and together could have been a progressive vanguard had Germany not turned on her ally.
3. Third question about war (since my own bloodthirsty Texas past has it so ingrained into my head), shouldn't the Palestinians lay down their arms and stop resisting the oppressing Israelis in order to become more enlightened and progressive, or does the fact that they are Muslims fighting against a religious/political organization that normally has close ties with Christianity justify war in this case?
A. It is the Israelies who must lay down their arms. A. Sharon must talk to M. Abbas, hat in hand, and right the wrongs committed against the Palestinian people by Isreal.
4. My last question. Is it OK to key any car I see with a Chimpy McHitler bumper sticker? Or should I just try to peacefully talk some sense into them? Use your judgement here. If the owner is present, by all means try to peacefully talk sense into them. If no owner is in sight, don't waste your time looking for them. Just key the car.Is it also OK for me to throw things at neocon speakers who invade our progressive campuses, or should I try to have a civil, reasoned dialogue with them in the hopes that they will see our point of view? These are hardened right-whiners, and cannot be reasoned with. They must be stopped. Pies are the recommended objects to throw.

30 Vignettes:

At 8:07 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous mrsevilneocon vignetted...

eagerly awaiting van helsing's response....

At 8:22 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

JESUS, you should be shot for even trying to pass yourself off as a college student, let alone a prestigious one.

At 8:38 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

And ytoure in what? High school? You should readall my posts. You mihgt learn something.

At 8:41 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

I'm home schooled, and I'm 15. Your probably what? 20? And a lying hippie stoner...I'm sitting happy with my status thanks.

At 8:42 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

And by the way, although I love satire as much as the next guy, your blog is just too much.

At 8:45 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous howie vignetted...

Josh, click my name for my comments from Scrapple Face. I posted many interesting and informative comments there, until I was banned. Read them. You might learn something.

At 8:47 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...


At 8:51 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

Here is what some may learn from you-

1. How to roll a doobie.

2. How to smoke a doobie.

3. Not to do drugs.

4. Progressives are truly a waste of matter.

5. Your a moron.

Actually, I didn't need to read your comments to draw those conclusions, but it helped.

At 8:59 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Prtesent a neocon with the facts and he will deliver an ad-homimem personal attack in return. As to weed, do'nt knock it if you never tride it.

At 9:00 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

So, Soufflé, where are you.

At 9:01 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Michael Foster vignetted...

Howie, are your spelling errors on purpose? If so why?

At 9:07 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Michael Foster vignetted...

You said, "Religion is often itself the cause of war." I beg to differ, Religion is often the excuse for war. That is not to say that some wars didn't occur because of religious differences but just to point out that people like to justify their actions using religion. Marx, Stalin, and Hitler didn't need religion to help them war horrific wars.

At 9:10 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

My "spelling errors" are not on purpose. I type fast and sometimes slip. I must remember to use preview.

At 9:14 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

Hey, don't give me that shit about personal attacks. Next, I'll be getting ethics lessons from a man, who goes onto other peoples blogs, and advertises his mess of shit.

Real classy-and don't pretend you went to college, you 'progressive (see; moronic)' jackass.

At 9:27 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Josh, no ethics lesson here. What I may feel is ethical may not be what you feel is etical. If you really do'nt like my «mess of shit» as you call it, why do you keep posting here??? Could it be a desire to learn???

At 9:52 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger Josh Fahrni vignetted...

OR the desire to make you look stupid. Your right though, I'm done. It would really help your case if you could spell...

Anyone, keep on being a jackass.

At 10:16 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Josh, if my «advertising» offends you so much, DELETE my comment from your blog! I will not call your blog a «mess of shit» like you called mine. It's that simple. Or...ban me!

At 10:19 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Sandra K. deleted me several times. Still, I keep a link to her site because, differing philosophy aside, I like her site.

At 10:42 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous souffle von helsing vignetted...

Tsk tsk tsk. Howie, I'm afraid I have to give you a D- for your response. If I were your professor, you'd have to kiss that world-famous 3.8GPA-from-Princeton goodbye. I can't say I'm surprised at your answer, but now, more than ever, I can see why "progressives" tend to be long-haired-dope-smokin'-hippy-queers. It's the only way you could convince yourself that you're actually making a coherent argument.

I don't know why I'm bothering to respond to this because you still won't see the utter inconsistency of your position, but here goes.

#1: F. This is what I meant by the "octopus defense." Escape in a cloud of ink, ie, you completely avoided the question. Only a bullet-head would disagree that the Catholics were wrong to attempt to retake the Holy Land by war. I was asking, in light of your definition of passive survival, what the Muslims should have done in response. Oh well.

#2. If there were a "WTF" grade, I'd give you that, but I'll have to settle for rolling a die: D, for effort. Honestly, I don't even know how to respond to your statement. The only thing the Nazi's did wrong was murder Jews and attempt to conquer the world? (Read: "never mind the mountains of dead bodies, folks, the 3rd Reich was, like, totally bitchin'. Dude.") So I guess "progressive ideals" includes white supremacy and intolerance. And a faltering love for communism. Glad you cleared that up.

#3. F. See #1. I guess I have to spell this out: by your definition of passive survival, the weaker group must submit to the inevitable oppressor in order to survive (why you think Al Qaeda can conquer the US is a topic for another day). Since Israel undoubtedly has the ability to wipe the Palestinians from the face of the earth, I was asking what they should do, not Israel. Put down the Jack Daniels and pay attention, son.

#4. D-, for violating your own philosophy, or what passes for one in the THC-washed cells of your brain. But I guess it's nice to see you coming around to the conservative philosophy: sometimes war IS the only answer. But you've got to know the difference between right and wrong before you can start making those kind of judgement calls, which, unfortunately for you, would require you to drain the chemical-laden swamp of your mind first.

I wish I could say this has been fun, but it's been more like kicking a wounded puppy--you'll get a yelp, but will feel terrible afterwards for having done it. I guess I need to find a more worthy opponent to have a meaningful debate.

At 10:43 PM, April 18, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

I always knew how to spell. I attend an Ivy League university so of course I know how to spell. I just type fast. Last nightI typed nice and slow so you nandertals could read it. Like I did today.

At 11:04 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous Texas Hick, aka souffle von helsing vignetted...

Last nightI typed nice and slow so you nandertals could read it. Like I did today.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Howie, you are just too much! Keep trying, buddy, you'll make it to the big leagues some day!

On an interesting note, check out howie's post to scrappleface. Search for "nandertals". I guess for the text that he actually gets better than 60% spelling accuracy, he has to cut-and-paste! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Ive League my arse.

At 11:08 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous Texas Hick, aka souffle von helsing vignetted...

OK, I think I've had enough. I feel like I'm beating up on a mentally handicapped kid, it's just passed the point of being massively pathetic. Peace out.

At 11:53 PM, April 18, 2005, Anonymous mrsevilneocon vignetted...

He actually copied and pasted an old Scrappleface post? Pathetic. Von Helsing, your rebuttal was superb, but I'm afraid it was wasted on the, "wasted," one.

At 3:11 AM, April 19, 2005, Anonymous a naughty mouse vignetted...

Well shoot! I thought the answer to Souffle was an omelette'. Hence, I expected I'd find a cool recipe here.

But then an omelette isn't really a legitimate answer to Souffle as, by comparison, an omelette is FAR more dense.

This ladies & gents leads us to todays show & tell:

Souffle von helsing
Omelette von howie

The "omelette" recipe found here can also serve as a perfect substitute for a recipe for disaster. The main ingredient for both being an egghead.

Your pillow don't look so good, howie.

At 7:50 AM, April 19, 2005, Anonymous A Scrappler vignetted...

I like the ScrappleFace comment below howie's.

At 8:49 AM, April 19, 2005, Anonymous Troll Stomper vignetted...

A you mean THIS comment(?):

I always knew how to spell. I attend an Ivy League university so of course I know how to spell. I just type fast. Last nightI[1] typed nice and slow so you nandertals[2] could read it. Like I did today. I still think you should pay atention[3] to the Newsman.
Posted by: howie at December 9, 2004 07:47 AM

1: night I; two words, slow typist!
2: howie
3: attention

How much are Mommy and Daddy paying for that "Ivy League" education, moron?
(Yeah, right, and I'M Fred Flintstone. YABBA DABBA DO!)

Oh, and PAY ATTENTION TO "Newsman"?!
(A.K.A. Saddam", etc.)

Posted by: Troll Stomper at December 9, 2004 09:01 AM

At 10:10 AM, April 19, 2005, Anonymous A Scrappler vignetted...

Troll Stomper:

I actually meant this one:


Just shut up!

Posted by: BECK! at December 9, 2004 07:51 AM

But I like yours too!
Miss Spelling and Ms. Ann Thrope would have a field day with this character!

At 6:55 PM, April 21, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous vignetted...

Gawd! Howie, you blog your site the way you post at Scrappleface. I generally cut people slack on their spelling but....are you dyslexic or something? For the sake of all our sanity, USE SPELLCHECKER!

At 9:42 AM, April 23, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

I no longger post at Scrapple face. I was banned.

At 11:21 PM, April 25, 2005, Anonymous Souffle Von Helsing vignetted...

So you've told us. About 40 million freaking times. Is that a badge of honor for you or something?


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