Friday, April 15, 2005

Pope John XX

The time has come for another woman pope. That's right another.On the death of Pope Victor III 9/16/1087 the conclave unanimusly electd one John Anglicus, a Englishman who had studied in Mayence, Germany. He was Pope John XX. But John was actually Joanna. A woman! As a girl she enrolled in seminary discuised as a man and was ordained a priest. She was so talented in the ministry that she rose thru the church hierarchy all the way up to the Vatican. All the time disguised as a man! Joanna served as pope for 2 yrs 7 months, and 4 days. At that time, while getting on her horse, she gave birth. She was then seized, beaten, and tied to the horse and dragged through the streets of Rome, after wich she was stoned to death and the baby smothered. Both corpses were then thrown into the Tiber River and caried out to sea.The name of Pope John XX was stricken from the records of popes and locked away in a secret Vatican archive. To this day if you look at a list of all popes you will see Popes John I thru John XIX and John XXI thru John XXIII, but there is no Pope John XX. It is time the cardinals make this right by electing another woman as pope.

9 Vignettes:

At 11:13 AM, April 15, 2005, Blogger Chairman eDog vignetted...

How 'bout "Pope John XXX" with Vin Diesel as the Holy Father?

 
At 12:41 PM, April 15, 2005, Anonymous A Naughty Mouse vignetted...

Howies about XXena, Warrior Princess. She'd kick, not kiss, pedophile ass. She'd be the Wholly Muthuh'.

 
At 12:57 PM, April 15, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Pedophiles should be niether kissed or kicked. They should be understood. Ifd we understand these truobled people, we can prevent future abuses.

 
At 1:37 PM, April 15, 2005, Anonymous A Naughty Mouse doin' da Math vignetted...

howie,
You're the most troubled person I know of + NO ONE understands you = your future has zero guarantees of being abuse free.

 
At 6:55 PM, April 15, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

edog von winter your name is very European. You must be a like minded progressive too.

 
At 8:42 PM, April 15, 2005, Anonymous Souffle Von Helsing vignetted...

Good point there, howie, ol' boy. I, Texas Hick, in an effort to be more progressive, have officially changed my name. That's right, folks, you heard it here on the howie blog first!

 
At 11:48 PM, April 15, 2005, Blogger hooey vignetted...

Thank you souffle. See wht happens when you give peace a chance.

 
At 12:09 AM, April 16, 2005, Anonymous Red Loser vignetted...

Hmmm...Howie, I am in need of your assistance. How could I strive to make my name more progressive?

 
At 10:54 AM, April 16, 2005, Anonymous Souffle Von Helsing vignetted...

I'll field this one for you, howie, seein' as you're going to be getting thoroughly sauced tonight with your party at Princeton U, where you're a junior education major with a 3.8 GPA, minoring in history.

It's easy, Red. Here's an example: "Le'red Louseureaux". Just make sure you say it with a thick Frenchie accent, like that chef chap from Disney's Little Mermaid. (Note how I used the word "chap", which is very progressive and European.)

 

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